Unrealistic expectations so often get us into trouble . . . and there’s no place more damaging for wrong expectations than our marriage. Steve Stroope in this excerpt from It Starts at Home shares some great thoughts:
If we’re not careful, we may find ourselves seeking to remake our spouse into who we think we need them to be to ensure our happiness. Our desperate need to change them turns into manipulation, and the more they resist, the less we enjoy being around them—possibly even wondering if we married the wrong person.
What if we released unrealistic expectations before allowing them to undermine lifelong love? Sooner or later we need to rest in the reality that no spouse—regardless of how cute, perky, calm, or hardworking he or she may be—can meet all of our needs. . . . . God surely wants to meet many needs through our spouse. But only He can meet all of our needs. Plus, we must remember that not every perceived need is an actual need in our lives. Sometimes what we expect from a spouse is exactly the opposite of what God knows we need in order to become more like Christ.
As painful as it may be to accept, my wife, Marsha, is God’s primary instrument for making me a better person. Despite what I perceive as my needs in life, my deepest need is to grow up. I begin to do that when I stop placing impossible demands on the person God has called me to serve.
The person you married has the potential to be a pretty good spouse. But he or she would make a terrible God. Releasing unrealistic expectation means accepting that my spouse is as imperfect as I am. It means recognizing that he or she can’t possibly meet all of my needs.
Good words here! God has given my spouse to make me into a better person! Our deepest need is to grow up! And our spouse would make a terrible God . . . May God help us to remember who is God and who is not . . . and may He help us to genuinely thank Him for the gift He’s given us in our spouse!
If we’re not careful, we may find ourselves seeking to remake our spouse into who we think we need them to be to ensure our happiness. Our desperate need to change them turns into manipulation, and the more they resist, the less we enjoy being around them—possibly even wondering if we married the wrong person.
What if we released unrealistic expectations before allowing them to undermine lifelong love? Sooner or later we need to rest in the reality that no spouse—regardless of how cute, perky, calm, or hardworking he or she may be—can meet all of our needs. . . . . God surely wants to meet many needs through our spouse. But only He can meet all of our needs. Plus, we must remember that not every perceived need is an actual need in our lives. Sometimes what we expect from a spouse is exactly the opposite of what God knows we need in order to become more like Christ.
As painful as it may be to accept, my wife, Marsha, is God’s primary instrument for making me a better person. Despite what I perceive as my needs in life, my deepest need is to grow up. I begin to do that when I stop placing impossible demands on the person God has called me to serve.
The person you married has the potential to be a pretty good spouse. But he or she would make a terrible God. Releasing unrealistic expectation means accepting that my spouse is as imperfect as I am. It means recognizing that he or she can’t possibly meet all of my needs.
Good words here! God has given my spouse to make me into a better person! Our deepest need is to grow up! And our spouse would make a terrible God . . . May God help us to remember who is God and who is not . . . and may He help us to genuinely thank Him for the gift He’s given us in our spouse!
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